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20.12.2011Skap tidenes mest inspirerende kick-off i januar Vi hjelper deg med planlegging og gjennomføring Les mer... |
Time as a scaling toolMany people use the concept of time as a vital part of scaling their capacity in business. To produce more results they work longer hours. But this model has a major weakness as we only have 24 hours available per day. So using time is not the smartest way to scale and we should all think about other, less limiting ways we can make our results go up than putting in more time. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe concept of timeTime is an interesting thing and we use it a lot in our language. We should pay more attention to it though because as we relate to time mentally, different relations to time make us feel differently. If a friend or a colleague talks about an ugly experience they had and we want to help them push the problem back in time, a phrase like “last year” “feels” like a long time ago even if we use it on January 2nd and the ugly situation happened only some few days ago. We can use time in our language to have other people “feel” differently about something that has happened and something that will happen. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceStop selling!A nice phrase says, “Stop selling when the client has bought”. Often when we discuss, negotiate, sell and communicate in general, we tend to push too hard and we “overdo” our story. This is not wise because the client will feel stupid if he said yes, and we still argue how smart it will be for him to buy. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhere is your personal roomDo you have a personal room where you pick up energy, relax or just rebuild your balance? Most people in business have a career to look after and a family to support, and then they have themselves. Often people let themselves down because they give all their time to other things in their life. We should all have a “personal room” where we relax and find energy and find time to spend in that “room”. The “room” can be a hobby, sport, friends and spending time there is not egoistic, it is just a great tool for inner balance. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBye byeObviously when we hear someone say “bye bye” we think that they say goodbye. But do they necessarily? What if the person is a sales person? The word “bye” has the same pronunciation as the word “buy”. “Bye bye” can then mean “buy buy” and goodbye can mean good “buy”. Funny how words can mean different things and since words influence us we can be influenced even without noticing. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSuccess creationHard work pays off - we often hear. Working hard is probably a good idea but is it always the key to success? Since many people work hard without really getting a lot of success and many people seem to have success without working very hard, working hard in itself is not the key to success. We should always find ways to work smart as well as work hard. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSuccess creationIf you met one of those self-made super billionaires and you wanted to ask him some questions so you could learn from him you would not ask him how hard he worked because working hard in itself is not usually the key to success. A better question would be what he did to create success, or how he did it. A much better question though would be what made him do what he did. If we can tap into and learn from successful people’s motivation, we can learn a lot about creating success. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe power of habitsWell formed habits are great tools for creating success. Successful people have learned that either they consciously create good habits or they unconsciously tend to create bad ones. We have habits either way so make sure you create good ones. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceTime is a healerWe have heard that time is a healer and it is true that over time we tend to forget difficulties we used to have. But we can use time smart in language and not have to wait for years. If for example, you have a bad back, instead of saying that “I have a bad back”, which sounds like it is a never ending problem, say, “I have a bad back today”, or “I have a bad back this week”, which presupposes you only have this problem for a limited period of time. We “program” ourselves with the language we use, and we should program ourselves the most useful way. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe clientOften, in business, people talk about their “client”. A friend told me that his client had made a decision. I asked him who the client is and he named a major insurance company. But insurance companies do not make any decisions do they? No companies make any decisions. People inside companies make decisions, on behalf of their companies. If we say that a company made a decision and this decision is no god for us, let us say they decided not to do business with us, it sounds much worse and influences us in a much more negative way than if we say that someone in the company decided not to do business with us. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceA terrible problemWhen we face what we feel is a terrible business problem, it feels bad. Next time it happens to you, try this: make a mental step 5 years out in time and then look back on this particular problem and then ask yourself how bad you think it was. When we “step out” in time we tend to see more and realize that we tend to “overdo” things. This exercise while giving you a new time perspective on a situation often helps to realize that even problems that feel “bad” may not be that bad or even not that important after all. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceLooking in the mirrorWould you ever look in the mirror in the morning and ask yourself, “How bad do I want to feel today?” Few people would do such a thing because it focuses attention on bad things. Still, we tend to do more or less the same every day when facing a problem, like asking, “How could this happen” instead of “how could a solution look like”. We should always look for solutions rather than dig into problems. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceA non complaint hourA very funny and very effective exercise to do if you want to feel better, is this: try for one hour not to complaint about anything. Just let things and people around you “be”. If it is hard for you do 5 minutes first and then do it for longer and longer period of time. It feels good! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe non-complaint conceptA very effective exercise if you and people around you want to feel better, is for a period not to complaint about anything. Test it out both in the office and in your private life. A great testing ground is to drive your car with your family in it through rush hours in the nearest city. Do you manage not to complain about other stupid drivers, about the terrible queue or about your children´s complaints? The result of the non-complaint concept is that when you get used to it, life feels much less stressful! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceMore to learn?If you think you are done with your learning, you are sort of right; you are done! Growth and learning are the key drivers most people’s lives and we are all responsible for keeping the wheel of learning going, for ourselves. Spend time with people you can learn from, keep searching for that new perspective and look for knowledge in everything you do. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSoft skills?Most people realize that there is always room for more learning in the area of work related skills. But there are also soft skills like interpersonal communications, mental balancing, confidence building, etc. These are the areas we tend not to be so conscious about when it comes to developing our abilities. We should learn to become more aware of our soft skills and find ways to develop them in addition to as our work related hard skills. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceMore time?Would you like to have some more time on your hands to get more things done? Most people in business answer yes to that question. But actually it is not one question, it is two questions 1) would you like more time and 2) would you like to get more things done. We perceive it as one question because we think 1 (more time) leads to 2 (get more done). But is that necessarily true? It sounds natural that to get more things done we need more time because from our experience we have created the logical sequence: the more time we have the more we can get done. But isn’t it also true that sometimes we get lots of things done and other times we get almost nothing done with the same amount of time. This means that time itself does not solve much. Effective or productive time is what we should aim for, not time in itself. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceTime and energyLots of people in business tell me they would want more time on their hands. And I can help all of them very easily. If you need more time, just do not sleep for the next week, then you have 50 hours extra! But, you may say, With no sleep I will lose my energy! Exactly! The point is energy, not time. One hour with good energy is worth more than three hours with bad energy. If you focus on building your energy more than looking for extra time, you will become more effective. How do you do that? You build your physical energy by exercising regularly and mental energy by taking time to think, reflect, meditate. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceDo people follow you?To a certain degree we all lead other people, like our colleagues, bosses, family members etc. Here is a good check of how good you are a leader: if you could not use force (like you title, your seniority etc.) at all and you could not use reward in any way (no money, no ice cream, and no kisses) would people still follow you?…and why? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThrow the anchor!We all anchor certain feelings to ourselves. As an example, if we walk in to a room 50 times in a row with a grumpy face and someone observe us; we anchor grumpiness to our face. The problem is it sticks for long! Even if we walk into the room with the smile 51st time, the people who observed us for the first 50 times will still feel grumpiness walking in the door. Would it not be a good rule then to always walk into rooms with a smile on your face?! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceChildren’s energySmall children seem to have unlimited amounts of energy compared to adults. But do they? Well it looks like so, when they play, run around and have lots of fun. But maybe the whole point is the fun? Maybe they just do what they like to do, and by that get all this great energy! Something to think about for adults also, maybe we should play more, or at least work with things that put a smile on our face every day! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe more the betterImagine a job where the more you work the more energy you get! Not possible? Well if we work with something we really love then this would be the case. Like when we spend time on our favorite hobby, like playing Golf, reading, riding a horse, fishing, or something else. When we think about our future career we should use this as a guide; we should go for the job that gives is the highest amount of energy, then we will enjoy it more and also create better results. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceDo what we like to doA good rule of thumb to keep energy up is to work with something we really love. And if we do not do it with our current job, we could always change direction. Some people feel it is too late for them to change career, they may already be in their 40s or 50s. My uncle went to college to study art history because this is what we really wanted to do. By the way he did it after working as a teacher for 47 years. The day he walked into the university he was 67! Now he is 84 and most of his friends, the ones he met at the University, are in their early 30s and he has a smile on his face every day! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe power of the smileMost of us have learned that smiling is a smart thing. A smile is always received well and it also feels good to smile. But it is easy to forget to smile as well, is it not. Here is a tip: make sure you have a smile on your face in every place where other people do not. This way you stand out immediately. There are lots of places to choose from and one of my favorites is a security check at an airport where most of the travelers are stressed and grumpy. Put on a nice smile next time you are there, exchange some friendly words with security personnel and notice then how suddenly they also smile up! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceYou are on tapeLast week we discussed the power of the smile and said that a good rule is to have a smile on your face every place where other people do not because this way you stand out immediately. But not only do you stand out there and then, you also stand out on tape! Remember there are security cameras filming you on street corners, outside and inside banks, on train stations etc. Imagine one day such a recording is shown to the public. Would you like to be on that tape with a stressed and grumpy face or with a wide smile on? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceAlways on inspiration?Can one be inspired 24 hours a day? No many people say; “our mental state goes up and down”. Also, most people say, if you are inspired 24 hours a day it is not a “real” inspiration and you are just pretending. But can one be frustrated 24 hours a day then? “Yes” - most people would say, “if something bad happens one can be frustrated 24 hour a day”. But if one can be keep the frustrated state of mind 24 hour a day, maybe one can keep the inspired state of mind 24 hours a day also? It is worth a try! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceChange mindset quick?Can you go from very frustrated to very inspired fast? Most people say no, it takes time to get out of a real frustration. Many also claim that if you go from frustrated to inspired fast, it is not a real inspiration, it is a fake. But what about the other way, can you go from inspired and happy to frustrated fast? “Yes” - most people would say, “if something ugly happens to you, you easily go from inspired to frustrated very fast”. But then maybe it works both ways? Just a thought! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceInspiration on demand?Is it possible to “become” inspired very fast? Can you “become” relaxed-looking in an instant? Most people say no, it takes time to “build” real emotional states. Well, look at it from another angle; in certain cases it is not a question of the ability at all, in these cases you just have to! For example, if you have a “bad” meeting that takes your inspiration down and then just after finishing the first one you another meeting where you are to welcome a new employee to the company, you just cannot take the ugly feeling from the first meeting into the second meeting. You just have to shake it off and get into an inspired state immediately. So forget the ability discussion, simply remember that you have to! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceInspiration on demand?Let us say you are cuing up by the boarding desk at an airport after a long day of meetings, longing to board the plane to get home. Then the flight crew walks by like they often do to get into the plane before the passengers. Let us then say you observe the flight captain: grumpy and stressed face and nervous looking. How would this make you feel? The thing is that a flight captain just cannot look this way; he would scare all the passengers to death. It is a part of his job to look relaxed! We all also have responsibility to send positive signals to our colleagues and co-workers every day even though we do not pilot a plane! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceInspiration on demand?Let us say you are cuing up by the boarding desk at an airport after a long day of meetings, longing to board the plane to get home. Then the flight crew walks by like they often do to get into the plane before the passengers. Let us then say you observe the flight captain: grumpy and stressed face and nervous looking. How would this make you feel? The thing is that a flight captain just cannot look this way; he would scare all the passengers to death. It is a part of his job to look relaxed! We all also have responsibility to send positive signals to our colleagues and co-workers every day even though we do not pilot a plane! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceInspiration on demand?Let us say you are cuing up by the boarding desk at an airport after a long day of meetings, longing to board the plane to get home. Then the flight crew walks by like they often do to get into the plane before the passengers. Let us then say you observe the flight captain: grumpy and stressed face and nervous looking. How would this make you feel? The thing is that a flight captain just cannot look this way; he would scare all the passengers to death. It is a part of his job to look relaxed! We all also have responsibility to send positive signals to our colleagues and co-workers every day even though we do not pilot a plane! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceA one minute presentationWhat if you were to present a project or results from a survey and you were told that your presentation could last maximum one minute. Could you do it? Next time, test yourself if you can take your 30 minutes presentation and do it in one minute. This is a great way to press you to come up with the most important point! When you have only one minute then you can only say what is the most important and when you know it, you can use most of the time on it in your real presentation. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhere are the highlights?Next time you are to present something in a formal presentation, ask yourself the following question: what and where in the presentation are my three main highlights? If you cannot answer the question, chances are that you do not really have any highlights. Make sure you build at least three highlights in every presentation. In this way you will make it more enjoyable and easy to follow for your listeners. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceAsking questionsWhat is the most important point if you want to ask someone good questions? Most people would say that the most important point is to have good, well-phrased questions prepared. Well, good questions are important of course but something else is more important. It is to have an atmosphere for open information exchange established before you ask any question. Without this atmosphere good questions will not give much value. So work on the atmosphere first and then ask your great questions. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceCheck listsA checklist is a smart thing. Like to have written down every question you want to ask in a meeting before the meeting so you remember all of them. But do you really do it? Sales people are in business of asking questions so a while ago I asked a sales person which questions he would ask his client in an upcoming meeting. “Many questions” he said. I asked if I could see the questions but he said they were not written down. I asked “but then where are they?”. He pointed with the finger to his head; all the questions were sitting right there between his ears. “Great” I said, “since the questions are all there, can you write them down for me so I can see them?” He then said “well, maybe I do not have them that specifically…” We should always have important things written down and planned to make sure we remember. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceCheck listsA good rule is to have checklists for what we are to do so we do not forget. But few people have checklists; they trust their great memory capacity. Picture this: two pilots jumping into their seats on a Boeing 747 and pulling out their check lists. Then the captain turns to his co-pilot saying: “you know, how many times have we been through these boring checklists?” Co pilot responds: “must be hundreds!” They look at each other and the captain concludes: “forget these checklists, let’s just go for it”! The reason for having check lists is to make 100% sure we remember everything, not only 95% of the task ahead. Maybe important in your job also! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceAll those meetingsAre you a busy person who is constantly being asked to attend lots of internal meetings? How do you know if you really have to attend all the meetings and which of them to attend? The obvious answer is - you prioritize. But how do you know which of them to prioritize? Here are two good questions that may help you: “What will happen if I do not attend the meeting?” and “What will not happen if I do not attend the meeting?” Often you will find that it is actually not that important that you attend all of those meetings and with these questions you may save lots of time ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceAn extra (s)mileMany have heard the phrase ”to walk an extra mile”. It means to not give up and to put that extra effort in whatever it is that you are doing. But in some cases a mile may sound like a lot, doesn’t it? What about an extra centimeter then? Even after a long and exhausting journey an extra centimeter does not sound like too much. What would it take you to add “one centimeter” of creativity to the project? Can you add this “extra centimeter” to your smile? Sounds doable, doesn’t it? One centimeter is not that much, but add it up and suddenly it means a lot. Over an 80 year life span it becomes 6.45 kilometers…which is one heck of a smile! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceEnergy in meetingsNext time you go to a meeting observe the energy in the room from when the meeting starts until it ends. Watch how people “move up and down” with energy and observe how “energized” or not energized people are when leaving the room. The energy level people have when they leave the room very much decides the outcome of the meeting so this is a great meter on how successful the meeting was. Actually this tends to be a more accurate meter of the result of the meeting than the content that was discussed there. Therefore, when analyzing meetings we have had we should always ask about the energy first and content second ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceGet people on your sideHere is a very powerful tip if you want to “get people on your side”: support your idea, accept your suggestion or purchase your product. Make sure you end all your conversations and meetings on a higher energy level than you started. People that give other people energy will always get more people on their side, influence others more and have more genuine supporters ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceGive people energyLast week we said that a great rule in human influence is to end all your meetings and conversations on a higher energy level than you started. Some people find this difficult because they feel they are not that “energetic” or they think that “energy” means jumping up and down or being super funny. Actually ending higher than you started does not mean that you compare yourself with a world-class motivational speaker. It means you compare yourself with yourself: ending just a little higher than you started is already a move in the right direction. This means everybody can do it and so can you! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceShy?If you communicate with someone and you observe the other person is avoiding eye contact with you, what does this mean? Some would say the other person is shy, or maybe even is “hiding something”. Is this a good judgment? It may be and it may be not. People have 5 senses and one tends to be a little more developed than the other. For example, a “visual” person tends to use eyes more. Others may use their hearing more and to be able to listen well to someone they often tilt their head a bit to turn their ear in the right direction, and tilting their head means losing eye contact! We must be careful how we judge other people and we should learn how to read into them rather than make assumptions ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSkeptical?When you say that someone “looks” skeptical what do you base this conclusion on? Often we conclude this way because the other person looks the way we think we look when we are skeptical. But the other person is not you! Maybe he is just concentrating and his “concentration” looks like your “skepticism”! We must be careful how we judge other peoples emotions and learning how to calibrate their expressions is very helpful in understanding them better ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceOxygen in the roomA good metaphor for making meetings more successful is to “breathe oxygen into them”. So next time you are in a meeting that does not work that well and where people are a little “down”, can you pump some oxygen into the room? “Oxygen” can be your mental spirit; it can be your ability to ask smart questions to lead peoples thinking in new directions or it can be literal: open the window to get some fresh air in! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWork hard or smart?There can be value both in working hard and in working smart. While debating which of the two is more important is not very useful finding how they are sequenced is very valuable. Working hard does not necessarily bring much value if it is not based on a smart plan. Like in running, no matter how fast you run if you run in the wrong direction you are not getting where you want. So lets make smart our direction and make hard our speed, and in the sequence direction shall always come first. So every time you are about to get yourself into working hard, ask yourself how smart it will be! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceFeelings and successDo you get good feelings because of your success or do you succeed because of your good feelings? Here is a good rule of thumb: while in the short time it may be a little bit of both, in the long term we tend to get more success from good feelings than good feelings from success. Another way of saying it is that if we work with what we really like, success will come as a result, since we put more and better “energy” into what we do. Therefore we should always work with things we really enjoy because this will lead to more success ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSpeaking slow or fast?When you meet someone, do you speak slow or fast to them? The answer to the questions should be that it depends on the person you are communicating with. If the other person has a slow speed of voice, you slow down also; if he speaks rather fast you speak faster also. A good rule in all human communication is to match the person you are communicating with because this will create a better interaction bridge between the two of you ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSpeaking slow or fast?Last week we said that matching other people style, like their speed of voice, is a good rule if you want to create a good bridge of communication. You speak a little slower to a person with a slow speed of voice and a little faster to people with higher speed of voice. But can you? The only way to master this is to exercise. The funny thing is this; most people when asked to slow down their speech tend to instead lower the volume of their voice..! Volume is different from speed and we need to master both. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceVolume of voiceDid you notice a funny thing that usually when we lower the volume of our voice people listen more carefully. But what we tend to do when we say something to someone and they do not react the way we want, like when speaking to our children, we tend to raise the volume of our voice. The sequence of our action is then as follows: 1) we do something that does not work and 2) we do more of what does not work! When we do something that does not work we should change what we do and try something else rather than do more of what does not! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWordsIn business there are many interesting words and phrases. A friend just got promoted and asked his senior leaders for advice on how to communicate his leadership style to his new team. Someone told him he had to tell his new team about his values, another person told him he had to explain his principles and yet another one advised him to explain his guidelines. These are all nice words but they are not his words. My advice was that he explained his leadership style to his team since what he wanted to do was to explain his leadership style! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceListening?Are you a good listener? If you say yes, the next question is how do you know? You may say that you do certain things to be a good listener, like you may ask good questions then listen, you let other people speak and do not interrupt them, you nod and use body language to demonstrate you are listening, etc. These are all good things and they indicate you are technically a pretty good listener. But the only way to really know is to ask people you have listened to what they think. They are a much better and more objective source than you so you better get their view as well than simply rely on your own ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceResponse ableOften we hear someone is responsible for something. And we all are responsible for many things, like raising our children, creating success in our jobs, staying out of trouble, staying fit etc. But are we response able? Are we able to respond in the appropriate way? Take the last point I mentioned; staying fit. Are we able? Do we know what it takes to stay fit? Do we know how to eat healthy and do we follow that knowledge with appropriate behavior? When we consider how responsible we are in one area of life or the other, we should always ask ourselves if we are able to respond to challenges in this area. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceMoving mountains“Faith can move mountains” we hear, but is that true? Look at it the following way: People who try to achieve something, achieve more than those who do not try. And the likelihood of trying is higher for those who believe something will work compared to the ones who do not believe. In other words, when you believe you try, and when you try you reach more. So yes, faith can move quite a lot! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceMind readingDo you really have the ability to read other people’s minds? Like when you say “I understand what he thinks” or “when I see that look on her face, I know what she means”… If you do, you should leave your job immediately. And then you should travel to Las Vegas and make serious money doing magic shows where you read people’s minds. Such a gift should not be wasted in an ordinary job! ⇒ Show other Word of AdvicePeople are differentEvery person on the planet is different. A good “proof” of this is people’s hobbies. Some people play golf, some do fly fishing, some paint and some collect stamps. These interests are coming from inside of every human being. If we are to connect well with other people in business we need to understand them, their motivators and priorities. We can learn a lot about them by finding out about their hobbies or activities, and even more by asking “what is important to you in this hobby or activity”. You will be surprised by how much they in most cases will tell you! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSmall talkA business leader I spoke to a while ago told me he is very much a technical person and not a “sales person” and that he is not comfortable connecting with people when meeting them for the first time and making a small talk. So he asked me for advice on how to “talk about nothing” when meeting new people. In this context an interesting point was how he polarized; either you talk about something technical, meaning something valuable, or you talk about nothing! The point is that so called small talk is not really talking about nothing, you can get some valuable information. A good tip is to ask people where they work, how long they have been there, what they find challenging in their roles and what they find the most fun. This way you show interest in other people and usually connect on a more fundamental level that the “business” or “the technical” level. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBody languageHave you ever seen children speak to each other about something important without a pretty active body language? They use arms, facial expressions and even move the whole body to support their words. What about you? You may think adults do not have to do that and even that it is a bad tone. But is it really? Active body language gives the story life. Therefore we should find ways to use our body language more to support what we say and by that become more influential. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhat to do or how to do it?Usually when we coach other people we tell them what to do. “Call the client”, “plan your meeting well” and “create more campaigns” are typical phrases one hears in business environments. While what to do may be important, how to do it is more important. So if you coach and lead other people make sure you also advice on how to do what you tell them to do. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceLead by words or by example?If you lead and coach other people, there is always an element of telling/advising people what to do. Telling people what to do is leading by words. Leading by example though is a much more effective way of coaching and leading since then other people both see that you do what you preach but also they learn how to do what they are supposed to do and how to do something is more important than what to do. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceHow to share best practicesA so called “best practices sharing” is important in most organizations since we all want to learn from the best. But what is the best practice in sharing the best practice? One good tip is rather than writing a set of best practices down and putting them on the internet or in a coaching guide, have the person that created success tell others about what and how he did in his or her own words. This way the story comes to live, no one has to interpret it and it works much better as a learning mechanism. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceHow to share best practicesWhen sharing so called “best practices sharing” most organizations make a mistake by over focusing on what people did to create success. While WHAT they did is interesting but HOW they did it is more interesting. Even more interesting and valuable, however, is WHY they did what they did to create their success because WHY taps directly into their drivers and motivation. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceCan you play a trumpet?If you ask children if they can play a trumpet their answers tend to go in two directions; either they say yes or they say “I do not know, I have not tried yet”. If you ask adults, unless they have trained in playing trumpet, they all tend to say no, although their answers are usually not based on actual experience they but on limitations in the mind. What is interesting is that children answers leave the doors open for learning whereas adults have their learning doors shut. To become successful in any area of life we should keep an open mind to the opportunity. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceMentor and coachBeing a mentor and being a coach can be two different things. The mentor gives advice based on his bigger experience than the person he is mentoring. The coach asks good questions that help the other person clarify and direct his thinking. The best adviser, colleague and leader is a person who combines these two abilities and uses them based on what the person needs at the time of their interaction. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhat would you do if you could?When you work on your own or your company´s vision, a great question to ask is “what would you do if you could?” The question wipes out all kinds of limitations in your thinking and takes you straight into the future and success you will be able to create there. While it may not be easy at the start to have ourselves think that way because we are so used to starting with all kinds of reasons why things will not work as we take time to exercise this thinking it becomes easier and easier to move in this direction. Test it out! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSolving problemsIs a big problem harder to get rid of than a small problem? Tempting to say yes is it not? But is that true? The cure to a problem is usually dependent on the availability of possible solutions and the angle you take to understand it while the size of the problem is less important. A big problem with a solution that you know is better than a small problem with no solution. You may say “if the big problem has a solution, is it then really a big problem?” Well, maybe it was when we did not know about the solution! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhere do billionaires come from?Those self-made billionaires who started out with two empty hands and made a fortune, where do they come from? Do they all come from the same industry? Did they all take the same education? Were they all born by “successful” parents? No. They all made success in different environments. It was how they related to their environment that made them successful, not the environment itself. Success is usually built on an inside-out model and these billionaires came from within themselves. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhat is your frame?To create success is what most people want. But what is success? How do you know that you have it? How successful are you and compared to what? We should all first of all look for these answers inside ourselves because success means different things to different people. What it means for you should be your base line of measurement. When you consider if you reached your potential, compare it to what you think your potential is. This is your “frame”, and when you use it to set your vision, remember that the limits of that frame are set by your thinking. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceOur spirit goes up and down. Or?Our mental spirit goes up and down, people say. Yes it tends to be that way: some days we are in a good mood and other days in not that good. But is this concept of mood swings a law of nature? For example, if you have been in a great and empowering mood for two weeks, do you have to go grumpy for the next two weeks – to “balance out”? No, you will most likely say. Then make sure you do not program yourself into bad moods just because you think it is natural to go up and down. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWho starts?Who is responsible for building inspiration in a company? The answer may be that the boss is responsible or, on a broader scale, that everyone is responsible. Who should start building it then? Again, the boss, the team leader or everyone should start. But what is the easiest rule to follow? The easiest is that you start. Not because you are more responsible or capable than others but because you have more control over yourself than you have over others. When you follow this route, you will get back the most from your energy spent. Moreover, you will show that you are a role model for others to follow. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe hill has always been that steepMy mother turned 80 this year and her neighbor is 92. He is a self-induced “post man” and picks up the post every morning then walks up to her house with it. There is a hill up to her house and being 92 years old it is quite a task to walk up the hill. Last week he found the hill extra hard to walk and told her when he arrived at her house “today the hill was really steep for me”. Her response: “the hill has always been that steep”. It is not lack of sympathy, actually she asked him in for a nice breakfast. She just refused to take negative thoughts into her system. And she is right, isn’t she; the hill has always been that steep! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceTime boxingTime boxing is a nice concept and here is how you can use it: when people complain, time keep it. Then their task is to be “solution oriented” for the same time box. So if they complain for 5 minutes they will now have to talk about a possible solution for 5 minutes. If they are negative for 10 minutes they must also be positive for ten minutes. This way we force solution oriented thinking even when people are in a negative mood. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceUnderstand your triggersA friend asked me for a way to deal with stress; he gets so stressed when he is stuck in heavy traffic. Yet there are many ways to deal with that kind of stress, there may be a smarter way of handling this problem: avoid it. I suggested him to simply avoid heavy traffic. Instead of leaving home at 8 in the morning he leaves at 7 and instead of leaving office at 5pm he leaves at 4pm or 6pm. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceHow we relate to stuffIf you break your leg, how frustrated do you get on a scale from one to ten – ten being the worst? After you rate your frustration, notice how you reasoned it. You may have said “if I break my leg I cannot work for weeks so it is really bad”, and you end on a 9. But think in a different direction: since you will be sitting still with your broken leg you can read all those books you wanted to read! And you can spend more time talking to your children. And people will feel pity for you and give you chocolate! Suddenly it “feels” better. There is no automatic link between what happens to us and how we feel afterwards – it depends on how you relate to what happens. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceProgrammingIf every time you sit in heavy traffic you tell yourself “heavy traffic is really bad and it pisses me off”, you program yourself: “car cue equals bad feelings inside you”. Do this 100 times and it is enough for you to see a car cue to get bad feelings! And it would work the same way for any other person. However, not all people in car cues get bad feelings so it is not the cue itself that gives the bad feelings to everyone, rather how different people relate to sitting in the car cue. So be careful with how you relate and program yourself. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceDealing with itYou know from our previous Word of Advice that it is how we deal with what is happening to us more than what is happening to us that creates feelings in us. These feelings drive our behavior that leads us in the direction of success or failure. Therefore the reason for success or failure is not what happens to us but how we relate to it. The best way to make sure we deal smart with what is happening to is to ask: how do I want to relate to this and how will it make me feel? ⇒ Show other Word of Advice“You are an idiot!”If someone calls us an idiot, usually it feels bad. But does it have to? I use mathematics to deal with this question. Let’s say, a colleague looks me in the eyes and tells me I am an idiot. I have worked with him for 1 year and let us say he is 40 years old. So how big a piece am I on his “system”? His “system” is 40 years x 365 days x 24 hours = 350.400 hours. My “piece” of this is 8 hours x 5 days x 12 months = 480 hours. 480/350.400 hours = 0.14%. So his “system” is 99.86% other “stuff” than me and all this influences him to think what he thinks and say what he says. This is what made him who he is – not me. So why on earth should I feel bad about what he said? I cannot let all this other stuff influence me, can I? ⇒ Show other Word of AdvicePeople leave bosses, not companiesPeople tend to leave bosses more than they leave companies. But people tend to join companies not bosses. To join a company we like is nice but if we end up working for the wrong person it will be no good for us. Therefore, finding the right boss maybe more important than finding the right company. Parents are hard to choose but with bosses you have a choice. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhy?If you a boss and want to get your people’s acceptance of a change program, here is a good tip: always explain why the change is happening. It is especially important when people are against the change that you are suggesting. People that are told why things are happening, what is the reason behind the change, have a higher likelihood of accepting the change, even if they do not like it. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhat people always likeAs human beings we like quite many things, don’t we? Especially we like to be seen, heard and understood. So as a good colleague, boss or parent we should always ask ourselves, do we make others “seen, heard and understood”? It may be as easy as asking people how they feel or what is going on or just showing a little bit of genuine curiosity about them and what they do. So walk over to someone after having read this tip and ask! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceIs understanding the same as agreement?I often hear people complain that their colleagues or family members do not agree with them because they just don’t understand them. They equate understanding to agreement. But can you understand someone without being in agreement with them? The answer is yes. You can understand what people say or what they mean without agreeing with what they say or mean. This is important because when you express understanding to someone they will be more open to your ideas as well. So make sure people feel understood by you even of you disagree with their opinions and then you will be able to influence them more effectively! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSilence is kingWhat is the value of silence? Most people enjoy silence when they go to sleep and when they want to relax. But what about silence in your business meetings? Actually it is a lot of value in silence in meetings; silence gives people time to reflect. After you ask a question or suggest something, allow for a little silence and let people think. You may be surprised by the result this produces! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceLeaving a jobLeaving a job may for many people be a difficult thing to do for leaving a job behind may mean you are leaving something you are so used to. For people this creates uncertainty and they find it difficult to think about it even if they are not very happy about the job. Well, think about it this way: the only certain thing about a job is that one day it will be gone! Either you decide to leave, your employer may ask you to leave or you will retire altogether. If you consciously relate to it this way – one day you and the job will split anyway – the whole thing may feel a little more “natural” and you may feel better about thinking about it. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceRe FramingThe Norwegian football team “Viking” has had the worst start of the series in 20 years and sit at the bottom of the stacks in mid season. The situation is a tragedy for the club and even more for the supporters. Most supporters have given up except one group, the local kindergarten. How come? Here is the key: the kindergarten personnel showed the stacks to the children, but with a twist, they showed it upside down! Suddenly, children are very proud and during the game they are the only supporters really cheering for their team, giving them energy to put on a better game! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBrain training made funThere are many fun ways to train your brain. Language is one of the best. For example the thing called palindrome. A palindrome is a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. To test your own ability, start with one simple word like the name EVE. What other words can you come up with? Then try it with a full sentence, for example, “Was it a rat I saw”? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBrain training made fun 2As we learned last week, language is great for brain training and another fun tool to do it is what is called ambiguities: a word than can mean more than one thing. There are many variations. One is called phonological ambiguities; words that sound the same, for example, no/know, days/daze and sea/see. Another variation is called syntactic ambiguities, which occur when it is not clear how much of a sentence a verb, adverb or adjective applies to: like “the room was full of funny men and women”. Were the women funny or only the men? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBrain training made fun 3Last week we looked at ambiguities, words and phrases that may mean more than one thing. Like so called syntactic ambiguities, which occur when it is not clear how much of a sentence a verb, adverb or adjective applies to: like “the room was full of funny men and women”. Were the women funny or only the men? And if it is hard to come up with ambiguities on your own, you can find many funny ones if you read newspaper headlines, like this one from South Africa: “man shot a snake in his pajamas”. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceTrainingAs a business person, how much training do you put in? Most business people do not really train a lot at all. Think about the following: the armed forces train for hours every day and hopefully never have to do battle for real. Sports people train most days and compete once a week or so. Business people tend not to train at all and compete almost every hour every day. Don’t you think a little training now and then could be handy? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWhy would I want to take a day off?My father worked for 14 years before he could take a one day vacation. He was a farmer and had to look after the farm with cows and pigs 7 days a week 365 days a year. For 14 years. I told him that must have been tough. He said “tough in what way?” I said “it must have been tough not to be able to take a day off”. He said “off from what?” I said “from working on the farm”. He said “why would I want to take a day off from what I like to do?” If you like what you do at work you can look at it as a holiday. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceYour job tough?Hard days in the office? Tough targets? Lots of extra hours? Well, it may be, but think about your job a little differently: see it as a hobby! You may need to walk for hours to get to a trout creek and them spend even more hours trying to get one fish, or you are sweating in a gym to do well in competition or just to look good. You have no hesitation about putting energy into something you like, something you want to make work, something you want to win. Why not to do the same in your job and have as much fun, at least while you have it? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe happiest person on EarthWho is the luckiest person on earth? It is actually my own mother, according to herself. She is 80, rents out rooms for tourists in the summer and enjoys herself every single day. If she has one tourist visiting instead of none, she goes from happy to very happy. And all it takes to make her the happiest person on mother earth is a few more tourists. What would make you the happiest person on Earth? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe importance of languageIs language important in communication? Most of us would say yes. But not my mother. She is 80, does not speak any English and rents out rooms for tourists in the summer, many being English speaking. I have told her that learning English would be helpful. She says why, and adds “when the tourist comes down for breakfast in the morning, I show him an egg. If he wants the egg he nods and if not he shakes his head. Then I point to the frying pan and the boiler. If he wants the egg fried he points to the pan and if he wants it boiled he points to the boiler”. Then, if he wants it fried she shows him her flat hand, then flips her hand to indicate fried either sunny side up or on both sides! She proves that interpersonal communications can be done very effectively without any language at all! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceOne operating systemA friend told me he is a different person in the office and at home. I told him “no you are not”. If you are “one person” in the office and another one at home, one is fake. Human beings have only one operating system and it works the same way 24 hours. We adjust it to the environment we are in but it is still the same system. When we understand this, we make adjustments congruent and remain the same person, and when we don’t then one is a fake. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe average is greatWhen my father was about 60 he told me his life had been great, like a conclusion. I told him that is super but added his life was not over yet so how could he conclude that way? He said his life had been so good for so long so whatever happened from now on it would not change the average. What a way to look both back and move forward! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceSmelling the flowersTo me the phrase “stop to smell flowers” is one of the best metaphors. It means taking the time to really notice and enjoy what is there before your eyes to be enjoyed - effortlessly. Way to often people find excuses not to do that – they are too busy, they don’t have enough money, they don’t know how to do it… But all it takes is a walk in a park: stop to smell a flower you see, instead of just walking by it. It will only take a minute, will not cost a dime and now you have all the knowledge you need. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBeing lateHave you ever heard someone have a bad excuse for being late? Most people tend to have a “good” excuse for being late, like traffic, too much work, other people influencing them etc. But some people are always on time and they have traffic, tons of work and other people influencing them also. They just made it a habit to be on time no matter the traffic. It is up to you what habits you make! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWasting timeIn a meeting a week ago one of the participants was late. On arrival he excused himself and blamed heavy traffic. He added “I am sorry, luckily it was only 7-8 minutes”. Wrong. It was his 7-8 minutes times the number of people waiting. It was 6 people waiting for him so the real “waste” was 7-8 minutes x 7 = 49-56 minutes, meaning almost one hour. When we are late we do not only waste our own time but others also. Therefore a good tip is to be on time. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceTime for a job change?A friend asked me “I have had the same job for 10 years so I guess it is time for a change?”. Well, how long you have had your job is not in itself a reason for a change. If you have a job you really like you can stick to it for life, if you have a job you do not like you should not wait for 10 years. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceJob frustrationIf you have a job frustration, you have two options: either get yourself out of the frustration or get yourself out of the job. These are the only two options, unless you like the third option which is to stick to the job and remain frustrated. But even if you decide that you like the third option be aware that having a job frustration is not only bad for you it is also bad for people around you since your frustration will spread and you will infect them with not that good energy. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceJob frustration 2If you have a job frustration, you have two options: either get yourself out of the frustration or get yourself out of the job. Ask yourself: can I be happy with this job or can I not? If the answer is yes, go ahead and be happy. If the answer is no, ask yourself: can I change something in the job or can I not? If the answer is yes then try to change it so you are happy with it. If the answer is no, you have one more option: change yourself. If you cannot, then the only option left is to find another job. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceIf I was to do it againMy father told me once that if he was to live his life one more time and could choose how he would do it, he would do it exactly the same way. He would have the same wife, the same children and the same job. How many people can say the same? How he can do it? By living his principles and values! How we can do it? By learning our principles and values and sticking to them in living our lives. For example, is the job you are doing in line with your principles and values? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe solution to problemsWhere is the solution to a problem you face today? If you are to point out in time where you think the solution may be, where do you point? For example, if your problem is today and today is August 13th, is it likely that the solution to the problem is for example on August 12th or August 14th? A solution to a problem you face today is never behind you it is before you, simply because we cannot walk back in time. Isn’t it funny then how often we seek solutions to problems in the past, since these solutions are never there? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe robot’s solution to problemsLet us say you were to program a robot and this was a robot specialized in finding solutions to very complex problems you face in your job. Would you then program the robot to have any feelings or would you only program the logical functions? For example, would your robot have a program saying “if you feel unfairly treated then get upset and resist?” or “remember that you should always win arguments and if you don’t then get angry”? Probably this would not be too effective a solutions robot. Funny then how often we let these types of emotions come in the way of effective solutions. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceProgramming a robotLet us say a robot was to sit in for you in the office for one week. Suppose this is one of those amazing robots that do exactly what you program it to do. How would you program it? How much time every day would you program the robot to think about “irritating stuff it can do nothing to influence”? And how much time would you like it to focus on problems of the past? How much time you program it to be grumpy for and how much to smile? Would you program it to buy ice cream to its colleagues now and then? ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceGetting along with peopleWhat is a great question to ask people to get them along? Here is my favorite: “what is important to you?” If we always try to understand what is important to others, others will feel we care and that we try to understand them. And when they feel we understand them, they will be more willing to open up and share. Then you will get along much easier even if you may have different points of view. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceVolume of voiceVolume is one of many favorite voice tools. And how good are you in controlling your voice volume? And I do not only mean up, I mean down. The funny thing is we human beings tend to raise our voice if we say something to someone and they do not understand. But then we do more of what does not work! Lowering your voice is usually more effective since people tend to listen more carefully to a lower sound. A whisper may be more powerful than a shout! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceGiving referencesLook at your new employees as new born children in the sense that they have very few references about your company. They do not know what is difficult or easy, who is doing what and what they should be nervous about or not. So be cautious especially when you provide references about what is hard. It could be that even if you find something difficult they may not – before you tell them, that is! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceLiving againAsk yourself the following question: If you were to live your life one more time what would you change? Take some more chances? Listen more to yourself? Have a different job? The point is to ask this question while you still have some few years left so that you can still change…! ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceDo dreams come in sizes?“I am not the type of person who tends to dream that big” a friend told me. Ha said it almost as an excuse for not dreaming “big enough”. But the point of a dream is not the size it is how much of it we fulfill and live. So a good tip is to focus dream on how to make the dream happen rather than on its size. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceBack to back meetingsQuite many business people have so called “back to back” meetings in their calendars. Meaning the whole day is filled with meeting with no buffer between them. This is not a good idea because one tends to be late and there is no time between meetings to prepare for the next one or to simply relax for a few minutes. A 15 minute buffer between every meeting is a good idea to make sure you make enough time for yourself. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceIs it OK to stress?Some people seem to be a bit stressed. They work hard, have lots to think about and lots to do. Is this a bad thing in itself? Well, some people actually handle stress well and can have a stressful style year after year and it seems ok for them. Some of them even use stress as a motivating factor and perform more efficiently under stress. The problem, however, is if they spread stress onto the others! It is especially important for leaders to make sure that they do not spread stress to other people in their organizations since others may not have the same ability to cope well with the stress. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceThe value of changeYou may have heard the sayings “never change a winning team” or “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”? What is the value of change then? Should we change at all and why? The answer is in the environment we live in. If we live in a very stable environment change is not necessary, but on the other hand if we live in the world of change we should also change to adopt for it is not the fittest who survive but those that adopt best to their environment. So start with your environment, it will guide you in your decision what level of change you should put in. ⇒ Show other Word of AdviceWorse every dayMy friend went to the doctor to get a medical certificate for his driving license extension. He had a medical check-up 6 months earlier and asked the doctor to issue the certificate as soon as possible. The doc looked seriously into his eyes and said: “You know, perhaps you should get a new check-up because with age your health is getting worse every day”. Was he right? Based on his experience he may have been – he sees a lot of sad complaining people every day. But he for sure does not motivate his patients in the right direction. And I really hope the doc is not a children’s doctor telling them they get older and weaker every day…..! ⇒ Show other Word of Advice |
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